The Endless Wear of Seasons reflects the discovery and exploration of my need to create music. When I first started writing music, I immediately realized the incredible power of being able to take someone to a place you have been, to show them without words. I had not found my voice or my audience in my life, I did not feel capable of communicating what was on my heart and mind through dialog, but here was this new way of immersing myself in expression and exploration that I could share with others. I realized I could truly get through to other people through music, as I had experienced this myself from the other end so often and so profoundly. Even if it would not be heard or appreciated or understood by many, I realized that in that moment I was still communicating. With you. With anyone who took the time and made space and heard what I had to express, regardless of who, when, and where they were. And so I closed my eyes and spoke. And I realized that those moments, when I could just be expressing myself openly through music, and not grappling with words to try to get people to see what I was trying to say, those moments of revealing my scars, my soul, were peace.
I didn’t have to hide or pretend or struggle, I could just be myself and feel what I felt and channel it all into one shareable experience. Music is experience. Without an observer, a listener, it is just noise.
I was speaking to the world, to the underlying consciousness of the world. I did not need an immediate audience to hear what I had to say, I just had to say it. Over the years, going back and listening to what I had written has given me a unique experience of being able to reflect back and remember what I was feeling, to relive and re-engage with it. Writing music in my experience is almost like naming a thought or a feeling for the first time. You can go back to it and say: ‘Yes, that. That is real. That was my experience, my reality, my perspective’. It is an acknowledgment of my suffering, and however quiet it was inside, I have brought it out here and can point to it. And so I honor and voice my sufferings, and release them, so that they wont live forever within me, stagnant. All these things that I have never known how to talk about, I can channel them into this form and openly share them with others. And maybe something will resonate with them and our souls will touch when we silently realize we have both seen the same depths, and both come out of them. It can be healing to know that even the lonely and broken have company.
The scars of our erosion shape us. Sometimes beautiful structures are lost, swept to sand. Sometimes walls that have held us back fall, and new light shines on places we could not see before. The endless wear of seasons cannot be stopped. But it can be channeled.
Scars of Erosion
All current works by Scars of Erosion, including The Endless Wear of Seasons, were written, recorded, arranged, performed, produced, and mastered by Stuart Roland.